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Does Cultural difference make THE difference?
Cebu Daily News
July 27, 2005
Page 19 - 20

ONE OF the biggest enemies in a relationship is not the external, but the inherent; not the concrete things that sum up your compatibility, but the abstract, sometimes ambiguous idea of being true to one’s race or ethnic back ground.

In an increasingly globalized world, patterns of social behavior have become more random, social boundaries are slightly blurring, and the circle of trust among kin is expanding to include affinities, whether we like it or not.

In the Philippines, one of the "unspoken, but everybody talks about it in private" topic is that of Filipino and Chinese relationships. This is hardly a phenomenon. In fact, anthropologists could readily point out that far from being "different races," the Chinese and Filipinos share the same roots.

Shocked? In Tsinoy.com, an online community for, of and by Chinese-Filipinos, or Chinoys, as they would be rather called than the derogatory implied "Intsik," a discussion on inter-racial relationships fired up a list of passionate, oft personal, remarks from various young cosmopolitans, or YoCos.

From Dingo, 28, the issue of roots comes to play. "What do you mean by roots? How deep should the roots of a person's family tree be to qualify 'becoming' Chinese? Conversely, when do you disqualify a person from being Chinese? When does someone cease to be Chinese? When they are in a relationship with someone who isn't?

"By bloodline, Filipinos from Batanes down to Tawi-Tawi will admit they have at least one ancestor who was Chinese. Even the Tausugs are related to the Tan family! Going even further back in time, the Malayo-Polynesians who settled in the Philippines originated from the Chinese region. What could be more Chinese than that?"

Genetic similarities
Recent studies from sociologists recognize only three main races and their sub-races: Negroids which is accepted to be the oldest race; Caucasoids - Europeans and Middle Easterners and Indians; and Mongoloids East Asians and American Indians. Furthermore, Mongoloids, supposedly being the youngest and most evolved of all races, with specialized physical adaptations to high altitudes and glare and cold, such as slit eyes and fatty eyelids, are classified into three sub-races, which are: Classic or Sinic -Chinese, Mongolians, Japanese, Koreans, Eskimos and Siberians; Malayo-Polynesians - Malays and Pacific Islanders (that includes South East Asians); and Amerinds - Native Americans, Aztecs, Mayas, Incas, etc.

History textbooks show that the Classic Mongoloids (Sinic) emigrated southwards towards the China Sea and the Pacific, becoming Malayo-Polynesian races, and thus acquiring even newer physical adaptations such as distributed fat throughout the skin, enabling them to withstand immersion in cold water longer. In terms of evolution then, Malayo-Polynesians seem to be the highest evolved race of all, because it is the youngest race.

As for being educated in Chinese culture, most Chinese-Filipinos do not even know a fraction about their own culture. To require it of others is unfair. China has 128 registered minorities as of 1964, each with their distinctive cultures and languages. You cannot point to the Northern Han people as the sole basis for Chinese culture and language, especially since you will be disqualifying all Southern Chinese, including Hokkien and Cantonese peoples.

Thus, in the most basic root of it all, Filipinos and Chinese actually belong to one race. Technically speaking, you should not even call Filipinos and Chinese mating as interracial. The more correct term would be "inter-cultural." The term "interracial relationship" should only apply to Filipino-Caucasian or African-Latino relationships.

As Amy Chun, 26, said: "In this day and age, narrow parochial views regarding genetics just does not cut it anymore. If someone bothers to study and talk in the Chinese language, he (or she) should be accepted into Filipino-Chinese society as a full-blooded member."
Different points of view
How much education about the "Chinese" culture is required in a non-Chinese point of view then?

Does knowledge about F4 or 555 qualify? If not, why not? What if he (or she) memorizes all of F4, 555 or even Jackie Chan's songs in Mandarin?

In today's age, what is important is acknowledging and understanding one's heritage in heart, not in lineage.

Derrick Tan, 25, writes: "Maybe it's just my standpoint from a West-ernized/open value, but the idea of interracial relationships is perfectly normal to me. The idea of people who date strictly within their own race I do respect; in fact, it happens a lot even in the US. But the idea of dating one's own race/ethnicity out of personal feeling of superiority is prejudiced and ignorant. When I was in the Philippines last summer to visit relatives, they had told me that the Chinese in the Philippines will only date other Chinese. Which to me was a shock because that is just prejudice. I personally do not know the historical content of the pure Chinese seeking refuge or moving to the Philippines and their bad treatment they received from mestizos and pure Filipinos, but whatever it may be, that should not matter in the postmodern age we live in. For a family to disapprove of someone who is not of their race, be they Chinese or Filipino, is totally biased. I felt bad for my cousin, who is pure-blooded Chinese, who was shown disapproval by her parents because her boyfriend is Filipino, and is not good enough for her. The thought saddened me and I truly felt bad for her."

From Karla Tiu, who is of Filipino and Chinese descent: "I know how things are... I have seen my relatives try to break up a relationship of my cousins because the other person wasn't Chinese. I have a cousin who is going out with this guy who is Filipino. From what my cousin tells me, her mom is against it. I have seen this happen so many times...like for my brother who was going out with this nice girl, however, her parents never approved of the relationship. The reason why...my siblings and I are half Chinese, half Filipino. The girl was Chinese, came from a respectable family here, but the parents just didn't approve."

However, this thought isn't entirely true. A lot of Chinese-Filipinos do go out with non-Chinese, except that they are more discreet about it. This is because a lot of their kith, not necessarily their own relatives, would publicly frown on their relationship, casting furtive glances at the couple, and some even resorting to calling the parents of the person in question, and broadcasting the details as if awaiting a death sentence.

Also, it is not strictly due to racial discrimination that many Chinese parents will limit their children's relationship to other Chinese. It is mostly due to apprehensions about the economic levels and social behavior of non-Chinese.

In the Philippines, it is common perception, even among pure Filipinos, that those of Chinese descent will either be of higher economic standing or good businesspeople, or both. "There are incidents of Filipino parents persuading their children (especially daughters) to marry a Chinese in order to lift their economic status. So naturally, Chinese parents will also convince their children to marry other Chinese, even if only to prevent a lowering of their economic status," said Tim Ong, 25, quite matter-of-factly. "Aside from that, it is also a common perception, even among other Filipinos, that when you marry a Filipino, you'll likely get stuck with supporting the rest of his/her family. Mind you, other Filipinos complain about this, not just Chinese.

So, it is not really a wonder why many Chinese will discourage relationships with Filipinos."

Socio-economic root

Thus, the "prejudice" is not basically racial; it is more socioeconomic. As Ong explains further: "Wouldn't the tendency to marry into a family which is statistically financially more secure, normal?"

Lisa Cua, 24, who returned to the Philippines after taking her college degree in Canada, explains that this so called "discrimination" ma y ha v e stemmed from a human nature to stick to one one's kind, particularly after uprooting oneself from one's homeland.

"It's the same with other races, for example in the states, they used to have Little Amsterdam, Little Italy, etc. People of different ethnicities naturally prefer to associate exclusively with one's own kind. I guess this is the case with Chinese-Filipinos, particularly since most of our parents are second-generation Chinese, who are heavily influenced by what they have heard of the mainland by their parents.

Going further, I think that discrimination, especially against inter-cultural relationships, is a reflection of the conservative inclination of a person and if judiciously applied, is healthy. It is just a sign of a person's innate cautiousness and fear. A problem with having relations outside of one's community (or outside one's class of people) is that you have really no way of knowing the real person behind the mask that he/she shows to you, unless you track down his/her birthplace, siblings, classmates, friends, etc.

When you have relations with, or marry, someone who is of your own race and socio-economic status, you will already have a rough idea on how your other half thinks and feel, because you have basically the same background. You would have had experienced the same rejections, the same happiness and the same troubles. You will have roughly similar outlooks in life, specially if you are within the same age group."

This is not, of course, an approval of blind prejudice or blind acceptance for that matter. Perhaps the only logical solution if you wish to have relations with some not from your own "class" of people is to really get to know your love interest — his/her past and present friends, attitudes, beliefs, criminal records, medical history, etc. and if you can handle all the problems that will arise because of your differences, then go fight for it.